Well... there are certain aspects of india which continue to get under my skin unfortunately:(
It's always about money!!!!! Because I'm white I get the skin tax. All I see is everyone running after all the outward symbols of enlighenment, talking the talk, but yet to really feel it. I left Varanasi and have arrived in Rishikesh, in Utter Pradesh. Thinking I would find peace and quiet, not!! I have fought with a cab driver about being charged too much, people are rude to me after I don't accept their offers. All I want is some place quiet to do my practice.
I've hiked up a mountain to a remote village that was suggested to me by a man I met who knows the swami's and guru's of rikhia peeth. I'm awaiting my next meeting with the older Doctor who lives up there, amongst a population of 150 peeps. Its so pristine, quiet and shanti. no noise, just gods country. I have to get out of this ceaseless throng of sensory pollution and practice my sadhana. I love this country and its people but some aspects are tiring. I know I have lots to learn but some things I know I just don't want.
Well I have 5 more days to wait till I find out if I'm accepted into the village or not, now to see what to do to keep my sanity till then.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Mother Teresa Mission
Today I started volunteering at the Mother Teresa Mission doing laundry at 7 am-9am. What an experience!! We start in the basement which is dimly lit, and the rooms surrounding it are full of beds for the homeless, mental and physically disabled. Above where we work is open all the way up to the roof so natural light gets down there, the floor is large flat rock paving. Men sitting all around, the floor is wet with water. A large square hole in the corner of the room is the drain for all the water as well as it is the toilet, which is really a chair with a hole in it just over the hole in the ground. We fill a huge metal pot with water and soap, then roll up my pant legs and jump in and start to stomp on the clothes like your making wine. Then wringe them out, rinse, wringe out, put in buckets and carry to roof to be hung on the lines.
What really effected me was the young paraplegic and mental disabled boy who crapped his pants. He was brought over beside me, his shirt removed, then he was layed down on his belly on the stone floor and his soiled pants removed. A man proceeded to pour water on his dirty backside and hand wash his bottom while he lay there. Some one else washed the crap down the hole in the floor and cleaned his shorts. Once completed he was dried off and redressed. It was a scene I will never forget, it broke my heart and warmed it all in one stroke. I find so many moments to be so complex emotionally, so many levels are touched. I see compassion, neccessity, nature, tolerance, harshness, beauty. I'm getted my brain screwed constantly. I will never be the same person again after this trip. I love all that the creator is teaching me and that I'm learning about myself and life. I want to laugh hysterically and cry at the same time, while being thankful for it all.
What really effected me was the young paraplegic and mental disabled boy who crapped his pants. He was brought over beside me, his shirt removed, then he was layed down on his belly on the stone floor and his soiled pants removed. A man proceeded to pour water on his dirty backside and hand wash his bottom while he lay there. Some one else washed the crap down the hole in the floor and cleaned his shorts. Once completed he was dried off and redressed. It was a scene I will never forget, it broke my heart and warmed it all in one stroke. I find so many moments to be so complex emotionally, so many levels are touched. I see compassion, neccessity, nature, tolerance, harshness, beauty. I'm getted my brain screwed constantly. I will never be the same person again after this trip. I love all that the creator is teaching me and that I'm learning about myself and life. I want to laugh hysterically and cry at the same time, while being thankful for it all.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Commercial shoot
Today myself and the guesthouse hostess were in a commercial, shot down by main ghat at 6 am this morning. They had some fellow shave my head on the steps before hand, and then proceeded to argue about price with the producers for 15 min. My line was simple, in response to the question " why have I come to India?" " To see if they really drink the water".
Later back at the hotel we met at to change out of wardrobe, a monkey chased me and a bellboy back into the hotel. But, the bellboy slammed the door shut on me to save his own ass! lol. No worries though, I got in no problem;)
I really love India for so many reasons, but the days it sucks, it really sucks:(
It can be really lonely, as most people see me as a bottomless pocket of rupees only. Always working to overcome the language barrier, even though most know some english, you still have to be really aware of what is being said. Day by day the layers of illusion come away, I've gotten to know a couple of local guys a little. And slowly they let me know the truth of what goes on. The bottom line with all the "holy men", priests in the temples etc, is money. So that bubble burst as I like being in a certain temple, which I may return to anyways just not as often. The big lesson is not to look outside myself, the temple is really are own heart, the incense is our prayers etc.
So I spend my time learning hindi from my teacher, and tomorrow I am going to go and volunteer at the mother Tereasa mission as part of my karma yoga. I think the job they give me is washing laundry by hand, which I like to do. India is one big mirror teaching me always on so many levels. I will return next year, but probably not to a big city again, once I've got hindi under my belt I will spend my time closer to the mountains in the villages. And will practice my yoga there.
Later back at the hotel we met at to change out of wardrobe, a monkey chased me and a bellboy back into the hotel. But, the bellboy slammed the door shut on me to save his own ass! lol. No worries though, I got in no problem;)
I really love India for so many reasons, but the days it sucks, it really sucks:(
It can be really lonely, as most people see me as a bottomless pocket of rupees only. Always working to overcome the language barrier, even though most know some english, you still have to be really aware of what is being said. Day by day the layers of illusion come away, I've gotten to know a couple of local guys a little. And slowly they let me know the truth of what goes on. The bottom line with all the "holy men", priests in the temples etc, is money. So that bubble burst as I like being in a certain temple, which I may return to anyways just not as often. The big lesson is not to look outside myself, the temple is really are own heart, the incense is our prayers etc.
So I spend my time learning hindi from my teacher, and tomorrow I am going to go and volunteer at the mother Tereasa mission as part of my karma yoga. I think the job they give me is washing laundry by hand, which I like to do. India is one big mirror teaching me always on so many levels. I will return next year, but probably not to a big city again, once I've got hindi under my belt I will spend my time closer to the mountains in the villages. And will practice my yoga there.
Friday, November 5, 2010
MaHa Kal temple and Diwali
I spend as many nights as I can hanging out at a 4000 year old temple down at the Burning ghat called Maha Kal. The great death temple is a Shiva temple, his death or destroyer aspect. Small inside with three shivalingams, a fire pit with skull over top. Every night at 8:30 the puja begins, the Brahman priest adorns the lingams with wreaths of flowers, om symbols and prasad then we starton the Damru( drum) Ghanta (bell), incence and smoke fill the room till your eyes burn and water. Outside people are burning there dead on huge funeral pyres. Dogs come to the door and wait to be given prasad( or a gift that gives happiness, this was a sweet) , one came and sat at the door with paws just resting over the threshold so politely waiting. It was so cute!!!
Diwali festival was last night, fireworks went off all night. Not just little firecrackers,but huge banging suckers that you felt the air pressure hit you. I got no sleep.
Namaste
Diwali festival was last night, fireworks went off all night. Not just little firecrackers,but huge banging suckers that you felt the air pressure hit you. I got no sleep.
Namaste
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Varanasi
I've decided to stay a month in a wonderful guest house here in varansi, practice my yoga, learn hindi from a professional teacher. They have a wonderful rooftop patio with grass(!!!!) that has a great view of the ganges, with birds and geckos. I practice early in the morning in the sunshine, then hindi and on with my day. Today my hostess took me with her to an audition for an Indian TV advert, so we shall see. I don't care one way or the other. Hindi is challenging, one consonant has 5 different sounds!! I am learning to read and write it, I should have a good grasp in a months time. my room is spacious with a patio and my own bathroom which opens up to the outside:)
I thought I had more to say, I guess not. More later.
Love love love
I thought I had more to say, I guess not. More later.
Love love love
Sunday, October 31, 2010
post ashram
Well..... what an amazing experience. Life in the ashram was so peaceful, on the outside. lol
Which allowed for being able to witness all that would come up inside when triggered by situations encountered there. I met lots of great people and totally felt at home there and here in India in general. I was initiated into Satyananda Yoga as Maha Yogi. Meaning that, I have the potential in this lifetime to overcome the ego and duality, achieving enlightenment. Lots of work. Also the swami gave me the Sadhu sadhana, which intails traveling india and learning as I go. Renouncing and practicing as i go. I'm now in Varanasi in a beautiful guest house and will be putting into practice all I learned while in the ashram. It's so hard to document all that happens, you walk out the door and a new adventure begins. I love it here and don't want to leave. I've found my calling and my place in this life and am willing to give up all that doesn't fit with the goal.
Namo Narayan.
Which allowed for being able to witness all that would come up inside when triggered by situations encountered there. I met lots of great people and totally felt at home there and here in India in general. I was initiated into Satyananda Yoga as Maha Yogi. Meaning that, I have the potential in this lifetime to overcome the ego and duality, achieving enlightenment. Lots of work. Also the swami gave me the Sadhu sadhana, which intails traveling india and learning as I go. Renouncing and practicing as i go. I'm now in Varanasi in a beautiful guest house and will be putting into practice all I learned while in the ashram. It's so hard to document all that happens, you walk out the door and a new adventure begins. I love it here and don't want to leave. I've found my calling and my place in this life and am willing to give up all that doesn't fit with the goal.
Namo Narayan.
Monday, October 18, 2010
So much adventure...
in such a little time so far.
first day in Mumbai, everyone is friendly and says hello on the street and just walk up and shake hand in passing. wow. So as I'm walking down the street I start talking to a young man about whatever and he decides to have me come home to meet his 3 brothers, grandmother and mom. He lives down a narrow busy little twisty and turny street lined with homes and businesses. It's an industrial area. kids, adults, animals, cars, bikes, trash , alters etc. so busy. His home is no bigger than my bachelor back home, and his whole family lives there. They were so hospitable, they treat guests like gods and roll out the best food to impress. considering they are pretty poor, that was very impressive. I've made new friends:)
The next day, totally different energy. I ran into a couple of rude people, got scratched by a child who was begging because I wouldn't give money. My friends baby pissed on me and then by the store a bird shit on me. Totally different energy that day. lol
Evening rolls around and I take a motorized rickshaw an hour through busy mumbai to train station. Only to get there to find my train is delayed by 8 hours:( Richshaw drivers trying to get me to take a ride to hotel, they say its too dangerous to stay there for so long at night. So driver takes me back across town to where I started, and says not to pay him till he comes back to pick me up and take me to the train station again at 2 am. When I thought he said he would arrive. Time comes, he's not there. I panick and take another rickshaw to train station. little over 1/4 of the way there, we stop for my driver to get directions from guys on corner. My driver calls and I can't understand him on the phone and I told him I left and was heading to train station, and hang up. Only to have the police start questioning me about whats going on, I tell them, its ok, I carry on. My new driver had decided he wasn't going to take me any further( I should have waited for the first one I guess) so he got me to jump on the back of a motorcycle that was going in that direction, CRAZY!!! So ya, thats what I do. He takes me almost all the way there, then says he can't go any further and stops and flags down another richshaw for me to jump into. Holy hot potato!! lol. Get to station, its dark and sketchy. My driver tries to rip me off, it doesn't work. I go into station and want to go take a piss, and an old man inside taking money from people grabs my hand and starts kissing it. While another couple of guys start talking to me about the driver I had earlier and said I have to settle up with him, we talk about this more as we are pissing beside each other. We finish and walk back out to parking lot, I meet my first driver and 5 of his friends( other drivers) We talk about it and realise it was a big misunderstanding and I pay him any ways. They thinks its honorable, they buy me tea and ask me to come waste my time with them while I wait for train. They take me over to hang with the other drivers off on the far edge of parking lot. They are sitting in a circle on the ground smoking and gambling ask me to join. I decline and chat instead. Time comes to catch train, they walk me there and carry my back pack, while making fun of me in hindi. They asked if I minded, and said no, boys will be boys. lol. They get me to my train and give me there phone numbers so I can call them when I get back to mumbai. They are my new personal drivers.
After 32 hours on a train, I'm in Kolkata now. I've met with my friends and we leave for the ashram at 6 am. I'm so tired... but this is the last time I can update for the next 16 days. The story is in the shortest form I can get it. Will give more deets in person:)
Not even here a week yet and sooooo much has happened.
Love from Mother India.
xoxoxoxoxox
first day in Mumbai, everyone is friendly and says hello on the street and just walk up and shake hand in passing. wow. So as I'm walking down the street I start talking to a young man about whatever and he decides to have me come home to meet his 3 brothers, grandmother and mom. He lives down a narrow busy little twisty and turny street lined with homes and businesses. It's an industrial area. kids, adults, animals, cars, bikes, trash , alters etc. so busy. His home is no bigger than my bachelor back home, and his whole family lives there. They were so hospitable, they treat guests like gods and roll out the best food to impress. considering they are pretty poor, that was very impressive. I've made new friends:)
The next day, totally different energy. I ran into a couple of rude people, got scratched by a child who was begging because I wouldn't give money. My friends baby pissed on me and then by the store a bird shit on me. Totally different energy that day. lol
Evening rolls around and I take a motorized rickshaw an hour through busy mumbai to train station. Only to get there to find my train is delayed by 8 hours:( Richshaw drivers trying to get me to take a ride to hotel, they say its too dangerous to stay there for so long at night. So driver takes me back across town to where I started, and says not to pay him till he comes back to pick me up and take me to the train station again at 2 am. When I thought he said he would arrive. Time comes, he's not there. I panick and take another rickshaw to train station. little over 1/4 of the way there, we stop for my driver to get directions from guys on corner. My driver calls and I can't understand him on the phone and I told him I left and was heading to train station, and hang up. Only to have the police start questioning me about whats going on, I tell them, its ok, I carry on. My new driver had decided he wasn't going to take me any further( I should have waited for the first one I guess) so he got me to jump on the back of a motorcycle that was going in that direction, CRAZY!!! So ya, thats what I do. He takes me almost all the way there, then says he can't go any further and stops and flags down another richshaw for me to jump into. Holy hot potato!! lol. Get to station, its dark and sketchy. My driver tries to rip me off, it doesn't work. I go into station and want to go take a piss, and an old man inside taking money from people grabs my hand and starts kissing it. While another couple of guys start talking to me about the driver I had earlier and said I have to settle up with him, we talk about this more as we are pissing beside each other. We finish and walk back out to parking lot, I meet my first driver and 5 of his friends( other drivers) We talk about it and realise it was a big misunderstanding and I pay him any ways. They thinks its honorable, they buy me tea and ask me to come waste my time with them while I wait for train. They take me over to hang with the other drivers off on the far edge of parking lot. They are sitting in a circle on the ground smoking and gambling ask me to join. I decline and chat instead. Time comes to catch train, they walk me there and carry my back pack, while making fun of me in hindi. They asked if I minded, and said no, boys will be boys. lol. They get me to my train and give me there phone numbers so I can call them when I get back to mumbai. They are my new personal drivers.
After 32 hours on a train, I'm in Kolkata now. I've met with my friends and we leave for the ashram at 6 am. I'm so tired... but this is the last time I can update for the next 16 days. The story is in the shortest form I can get it. Will give more deets in person:)
Not even here a week yet and sooooo much has happened.
Love from Mother India.
xoxoxoxoxox
Friday, October 15, 2010
India is Burning Man on steroids!!
Over 10,000 kms and 40 = hours of travel, I made it to Mumbai safe and sound. I love it here!!!! It has it challenges that I will get used to for sure. It's mostly to do with the dispensing of money, what a trip.
Today is my first real day here, I was walking down the street and most everyone wants to smile and make eye contact. I feel so comfortable here. I met a lovely young man who took me home to meet his mom, grandmother and 3 brothers. AMAZING, peoples hospitality is second to none. They treat you like your a god and share tons of food with you. They all live in a flat smaller than my bachelor pad. The homes are side by side and on real narrow streets. All the women were out this morning washing clothes on the street together. They are such a tight knit community!! I'm envious for sure. I love it here, it feels like home.
I think India has plans of its own for people who visit, it has it's own time schedule. My driver this morning had me sit and wait while he had tea and then took me back to my hotel, lol!!
I've now arrived at the home of friends from the west and meeting their new baby, sooooo cute!!
Thats it for now, I'm learning lessons on service and humility left, right and center. I'm tired must go rest for a bit.
Love from the home land, xoxoxox
Monday, October 4, 2010
Non-attachment
Well, its less than 10 days till departure and the lessons are already beginning. My IMAC G5 and Iphone both died, leaving me feeling really angry, disconnected, powerless and out of control. Learning to let go is difficult for me, I have a lot of defense mechanisms protecting my soft heart.
I've had a chance to reflect tonight and look at things differently, and have realized that maybe the ashram life will be able to contain all that I am. So that I may be able to let down my defenses and truly be. An absolute surrender to something greater than me. I love to be apart of a community and serving, having a place and a reason for being. Supported and nurtured to grow,heal and expand. Having faith in the outcome and acceptance of the journey. I will be ok, I don't need to fight anymore, and I will open my heart.
I've had a chance to reflect tonight and look at things differently, and have realized that maybe the ashram life will be able to contain all that I am. So that I may be able to let down my defenses and truly be. An absolute surrender to something greater than me. I love to be apart of a community and serving, having a place and a reason for being. Supported and nurtured to grow,heal and expand. Having faith in the outcome and acceptance of the journey. I will be ok, I don't need to fight anymore, and I will open my heart.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Preparing for trip
Is getting ready to head off to the state of Bihar, in northern India to an ashram, Rikhia Peeth. To take two courses, first one is on chakra sadhana, the second kriya. As I know more, I will let you know. Visa has been applied for and got a shot in the arm today, prescription filled monday. Now to hunt for sleeping bag, backpack and misc. supplies. I'm excited, I love India and knew I would go back one day. I'm nervous about facing the crappy parts of myself, but wouldn't miss the experience for nothin'. It will help me grow/heal and be a better person, which will enable me to help others, which I really like to do.
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