I feel like I finally landed in India yesterday, after having my little hissy fit a couple days ago and hating it here and wanting to leave straight away and never come back. This place is everything you need it to be and lots of what you didn't know you needed. Being here has shown me about "BEING' here. Like you said Brigitte Amritmayi Prud'homme its not about where you are but where 'YOU' are. I got it all yesterday. My ego and its wants, not feeling included in all the groups around me, the osho peeps and the pretty boys on motor bikes..rejection. Learning not looking outside myself, keeping awareness inside, I have had some good talks with the right people at the right time. Mostly its root chakra, nourishing the body( aryuvedic) the right to be here, safety and security, trust. All my triggers going off at once. Fight, flight or friendship. Yesterday sitting in meditation, I opened my eyes which I've learnt to keep open most times. I saw the last 3 feet of a fairly thick snake slither by into the underbrush, which I've walked through before, just a couple feet below me. Adrenaline rush!! The other day sitting and something buzzing like a bee but as big as a small mouse almost flew into my eye! more rush! lol. So its about the safety and security, trust. I keep oscillating between calm and adrenaline. As for the rejection, I'm here to learn no mind and awareness. BEING inside. Not looking for anyone, gah! but I think I gots it. I feel grounded and centered. Tomorrow I'm doing a photo shoot with an artist out here for another artist I know in Canada! will be fun and will post. I met a young man a couple days ago with mental health issues, he walked by and told me the shop I was waiting at wouldn't be open for 10 min, I told him no worries I don't mind waiting. His response..I pray you are happy! and left. That's a first, sooo sweet. Yesterday I saw him walking by as I sat on the side of a busy street and I called him over and we had a great talk. He considers himself a philosopher and dang has he gots some knowledge! But of course right!? I'm so glad for having had to work through my own mental health issues in the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver BC, where everyone is dealing with it in one way or another. Lots of brilliant peeps there! When you fall through the cracks and hit bottom, and find it within yourself to rebuild yourself... those cracks, they let in the light and you can see yourself and all that surrounds you more clearly. For me anyways. I now look around me and see all these people around me pursuing the illusions that I gladly chased for so long. Now, I'm going inside. There turn will come. Enjoy the illusion, cus it's empty. See you on the other side one day. What does a boring day in India look like? I've never seen one! lol